DRUNK ON STAGE, WITHOUT TRYING

After all these years in the biz, after all the crazy shit I've seen and done on stage, this is a first. In my 'big' scene, James' character makes a point of saying to my character that he's going to make sure I have at least 3 brandies before we discuss the price of my car. Well....tonight, there was an unusually long pause as he gazed into the liquor cabinet. I wondered if he was planning some little prank. I waited.

Now, what you need to know is that, purely by chance, some of the liquor bottles in the cabinet are ACTUAL booze...the real thing. This is highly unusual (and, in fact, illegal but don't get me started on the fucking government and their Victorian attitudes about liquor control) and real booze is NEVER consumed on stage. In this case, however, we needed to dress the set in a hurry for a photo shoot and the bottles just ended up staying on the set. Usually, the 'brandy' that we drink is actually iced tea. Tonight, however, the bottle that should have the iced tea in it wasn't there, it accidentally got left in the sink after being washed from the matinee.

So James, knowing that he had to pour something, gave me a shot of Glenfiddich. This would have been fine except for the fact that during the course of the scene, I have to pound two more of them. On a night at the bar, 3 scotches would be nothing, but when you are trying to keep all your senses sharp and your British accent crisp, 3 scotches is the last thing you want. Not to mention the fact that in a few minutes, you have to perform a delicately choreographed and potentially dangerous strangulation scene. As I was running through all the possibilities in my head, I remembered that fateful night that we got snowed in in Hamilton during "Beauty & The Beast" and that horrible realization as I stepped on stage at 11:00 a.m the next morning that I was STILL hammered. This couldn't even come close to that, but it loomed in the back of my mind none-the-less.

I think James was worse off than I was, frankly. He was so worried about me that he kept dropping lines. I, on the other hand, was quite relaxed and had a marvelous time. I think, perhaps, a nice nap now.