DIRTY ROTTEN WACO

"Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" on tour...

We have known from the very first day of the tour that the venue at Waco would be a nightmare. Up to now, we have played two other memorably small and ill-equipped venues. Waco is much like the historic Georgian opera house we played in Springfield, MA, ...only smaller......with less wing space.

The Hippodrome in Waco was opened in 1914 as a Vaudeville house. It had a busy life that continued into the 40's and 50's when live theatre started losing it's appeal. By the 1970's, it had been running as a movie theatre for years and eventually closed down because it was in a state of disrepair. I can only assume that, at some point, some money was put into it to spruce it up again, though I have to wonder what money has been spent on it in recent years, in spite of it being on the National Registry of Historic Places. (N.B. We must be in Texas...there's a man riding a horse past my window as I write this.) The plaster from the ceiling is crumbling onto the audience, the paint on the proscenium has certainly seen better days and the linoleum in the dressing room bathrooms is so old (and grimy) that the pattern has been worn off in places. The dressing room area itself is underneath the stage and was never meant to house 18 people who wear 200 costumes. Half of that might even be too much since the entire space is the size of most master bedrooms. Oh, and did I mention that the dressing rooms smell like the ass end of a dead and decaying St. Bernard?

Then there's the stage. The stage. Well, it's small. Really small. How small is that? Due to space restrictions, we had to make some cuts to fit the show into the theatre....

-All the palm trees that create various settings in the first act? Cut
-The balcony railings that create various settings? Cut
-The stair unit that creates the Villa? Cut
-The hanging paintings and stained glass that complete the Villa? Cut
-The walls that make two tables and chairs look like a train car? Cut
-The downstage palette that glides various pieces of furniture onto the stage? Cut.
-The statue that is the ONLY piece of stage dressing for a long apron scene between K.K & I? Cut.
-The "escape" stairs that give the illusion of descending to the dungeon for the "Ruprecht" scene? Cut.
-The dungeon walls that set the scene for the "Ruprecht" number? Cut.
(This scene also features a toilet which, due to space restrictions and because it gets used only in the one scene, is used through the rest of the show as the seating for the Stage Manager as he calls the show from stage right.)
-The hotel chandelier? Cut.
-The "hiding palms" that conceal Brian & I as we eavesdrop on a conversation? Cut. (No, it wasn't awkward at all to stroll on stage and deliver our lines while pretending that Heather & Steve can't see us.)
-The hanging paintings that create The Music Room? Cut.

When all is said and done, there is more of the show outside, sitting in the parking lot, than there is on the stage.

All night long there are jokes being made about what will have to be cut due to space restrictions.
-The giant pinky-ring that Brian wears? Cut
-Anyone using too much oxygen? Cut
-My ego? Cut

Given the severe space restrictions in the wings, the amount of stuff crammed into that space and the number of cast and crew trying to operate around it all, it is a testament to everyone that no one was seriously injured. Although, there are a significant number of scrapes, bruises and near misses reported through the night.

As the overture begins, I remark to Brian that the audience had better be so starved for entertainment that they are delirious with excitement when the curtain goes up. And, lo and behold.....they are. They hoot, they stamp, they guffaw, they cheer. Duff comes back stage at intermission and says, "You guys have never BEEN so funny, You can do no wrong!" Does it make it worth it? Does it make it o.k? Not by a long-shot. But it does make it easier to take when an audience enjoys themselves that much.

While we may complain about trying to perform in this cramped space, a venue like this is hardest on our crew. We have two trucks that drive this show around. That's two, 53' trailers crammed full of set pieces, costumes, drops, cables, lights, speakers etc. etc. etc. In a venue like this, the crew spends a long, tiring day hauling all of it in, and out, and back in again as they try to figure out what is going to work best. (I would looooove to hear how it all works out when "The Drowsy Chaperon" tour gets to this space.)

Perhaps in celebration, perhaps due to the relief, perhaps just to help forget it all, it seems that EVERYONE goes to the bar after the show. Cast, crew, orchestra, both our truck drivers, both our bus drivers......even me, looking for a way to let go of the day.