Friday, January 06, 2006

SCOTT FREETHY LOSES A LIMB

Michael, on a shopping trip to Toronto, finally found Scott. I was beginning to wonder why I was getting no responses back from my text messages. Granted, when he says he’s going to sleep for a week, he really means it. Especially because he can drink with even more Bacchanalian resolve than I can. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone who can suck a bottle of booze dry like that, to the point where it implodes. And with New Year’s Eve just past, I couldn’t help but wonder if he drank himself into oblivion and went to sleep under a streetcar, or tripped and fell on another lesbian who beat the crap out of him. But, the explanation is not as colourful as any of my musings, he simply left his cell phone charger in Oakville and has been cellular-free since the battery died. THAT makes me laugh…Scott Freethy without a cell phone permanently attached to one hand. I’m sure he’s having phantom pains like people who lose a limb.

Kim & Jason are going to come for a visit and see our new house. It’s a good thing that they are so religious devoted to their hairdresser in Virgil that they make the hour-plus drive from Toronto every once in awhile. It means that we get the chance to host them in the country rather than them always hosting us in the city. I’ll have to think of something to make for dinner, and I KNOW I won’t be serving tequila….not after the weekend we decided to have a Mexican night. Poor Jason….flat out on his stomach, puking over the edge of our back deck in the middle of the afternoon, while his wife and I are pulling his pants down, ‘cause we thought it would be REALLY funny if he woke up outside with his naked ass in the wind. Ah….tequila….I’m sure that upper-middle-class-retired-artsy neighborhood hasn’t bee the same since we left.

AN ACTOR'S RANT

I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that the rest of the urbanized world has conspired to make sure that, those of us who choose to live in the peace and serenity of the country, pay for it by being denied anything other than dial-up internet access. I have called all over central Canada and so far, my only options are satelite internet, which means having a dish installed, which they will happily do for a fee of anywhere from $600 to $1300 dollars !!!!!!! Capitalist bastards. So now, after making the decision to never have a land line again, so that we don’t have to pay Bell $30 a month just for the PRIVILEDGE of having a phone, we are forced to use them again. Matt Helm was right….the phone company does rule the world.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Did you ever see the movie "The President's Analyst"? Since he was the one with the pres's secrets he was "wanted" by -guess who -we find out in the end it was the phone company. The last scene of the movie shows him driving miles out into the desert to place what he thinks is a safe call for help. while he is talking a helicopter flies over and hooks on to the phone booth -end of movie. I rest MY case.