THE SPA CHRONICLES: D-Day

It takes me a long time to fall asleep on the night I decide to fire PP. My brain just won’t shut down. I am, on one hand, amazed at what a skilled con artist and liar he really is, and how brazen. It’s one thing to pocket a few Baht from a prosperous business, but we are new and anything but prosperous. There’s very little to steal. On the other hand, I am angry, not that he stole money from me, but that he mistreated the staff and, possibly, the customers. 

As all of these thoughts are rolling, endlessly, through my sleeplessness, I realize that I care more about the staff than I do about the actual spa. And I am particularly pissed that PP fired someone, without reason, saying that it was on my command. I can stomach a lot, but I can’t abide people being treated carelessly. I can only wonder what other things were done in my name that I have no knowledge of. 

Sleepless in Samui

Eventually, I manage to pour enough vodka onto my busy brain to slow it down enough for me to catch a little sleep. Still, the morning is not welcome. I know what is ahead of me and I am dreading it. I reason that it has to be done to save my business, to make an example, to vindicate those that were mistreated and a dozen other reasons. And yet, still, it’s not a task I relish. I remind myself that he fucked me over, and that’s enough for me to drag my ass out of bed. 

This morning, the hideous coffee is good for my mild hangover, and I also decide to visit one of the little places near the spa for English (Thai-style) breakfast. 

Breakfast options at the end of our street

Other breakfast options at the end of our street

By the time I am finished breakfast, the hour of doom is drawing near. 

In spite of the fact that Patrick is busy shopping for his menu at Pride Bar, he has very kindly agreed to meet me and act as translator so that PP understands exactly what’s happening. Patrick arrives at the spa and we all sit down in the reception area together. I explain to PP that his massage is awful, and give him the reasons why. I tell him that it does not make any sense financially for me to pay him to ‘manage’ the other two boys who know how to do massage, especially when he cannot speak English to the customers.  I also tell him that I have spoken with Mr. Nut and am very displeased with the way the situation was handled and that I think it demonstrates PP’s inexperience as a manager. I tell him that his services are no longer required and that he may pack his things and leave today, and that he may hand over to me any Sai Roong cash he has on hand. He says there is none.

 

I am ready for him to challenge me, to fight for his job, and I have a whole list of questions and inconsistencies ready to present to him. But he does not fight. He sits very quietly, eyes cast down, hugging a pillow. No matter how many times I prompt, he says he has nothing to say. So I draw the meeting to a close.

While I still have Patrick handy, we call Mr. Pat over to explain to him what’s happening. Pat is completely shocked. Speechless, but accepting. I silently wonder if Pat is on Team PP and if I need to keep an eye on him, or if he’s just oblivious to things.

Firing PP is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I hope I don’t ever have to do it again. I am a mess. I decide that I really need a drink to calm my nerves even though it is barely just noon. Since I am now obligated to spend the rest of the day at the spa, because Mr. Pat is the only staff working and he speaks no English, Patrick very kindly texts Peter at Pride Bar, which doesn’t open until 5:00,  and Peter appears with a beer for me.

Peter and I sit in front of Sai Roong for awhile, drinking beer and chatting. It is calming for me. I explain to him what’s happened and let him know that the new manager, Mr. Long, will be starting in a few days. Mr. Long was managing for Ajay, but was happy to come work for me and Ajay agreed. Unfortunately, it is Songkran, Thai New Year, a holiday that is meant to be spent with family. So, Mr. Long, like everyone else in Thailand, is going home for a few days. Until Mr. Long returns, Mr. Nut will act as manager. Not only is this a gesture on my part that will hopefully make up for him being wrongly dismissed, but Nut speaks enough English to deal with customers and knows how to up-sell.

Eventually, Peter goes to carry on with his day, and I am left with Mr. Pat. We sit in silence on a blistering hot day, nothing to say, no customers in sight. I begin to understand the mind-numbing boredom these guys must go through when there are no customers. And there are many days with no customers. Eventually, I can’t surf the internet anymore, or micro-arrange the furniture, or pace up and down the empty street. I explain to Pat, in bad Thai and sign language, that I’ll be back in one and a half hours. Pat looks terrified at the thought of being alone, but I sincerely doubt there will be any customers. 

I drive to a new-ish spa that Peter has told me about. He said he thought they’d done it up nicely and gave good massage. In the interest of getting a good massage while also checking out the competition, I get a one-hour aromatherapy massage from a very nice young guy, Thanna, who turns out to be the owner. His massage is spectacular. And, even better, I can just relax into it and drift away since I don’t have to assess his skills.

After the massage, I introduce myself and tell him that I own Sai Roong. He tells me he knows PP. I smile and remain vague, knowing that the island telegraph will very soon inform him that PP no longer works for me. He seems genuinely pleased when I tell him that I think is massage is fantastic, and he begs me to give him a good review on TripAdvisor. Business is bad for everyone on Samui these days, and every little bit helps. 

I return to Sai Roong a bit more relaxed. Mr. Pat tells me there has been no customers. It is now past 5:00, Pride Bar is open, and since I can’t leave Pat alone at the spa, I decide to spend the night at the bar. It is, conveniently, right next door, and it is my last night on Samui. I have accomplished a great deal in a short time, and I am going to allow myself to have one night of silly fun with all the various eccentric and colourful characters that pass through Pride Bar. 

I drink, I eat, I talk to strangers and acquaintances, I play a little pool, I flirt with the dancer boys from Starz Cabaret who have come to drink….I enjoy myself thoroughly for the first time since arriving on the island.

As I was not in the least interested in picture taking on this night, these pics are gleefully borrowed from Pride Bar's website and re-purposed here.

 Crazy Terry from Starz Cabaret and a galpal

By midnight, poor Mr. Pat has had only one customer, and a troublesome one at that, so much so that I end up giving the jerk a discount. I tell Pat to shut the place down for the night, which he does, gladly. And I head home, while I still can, to pack and organise for departure tomorrow.