Friday, June 05, 2015

THE SPA CHRONICLES: Cracking The Nut






The day starts early again. Very early. Not so bad really. It’s not a part of the day that I get to see very often, and if you have to watch the sunrise, an island in the Gulf of Thailand isn’t a bad place to do it.



It occurs to me, as I’m drinking my hideous instant coffee, that I have been on the island for days, and haven’t even thrown my body into the ocean yet. This is an indication of how distracted and stressed I am by the spa, because the ocean is renewal for me. It continues to be a mystery to me that a boy who was born in the prairie and raised in the arctic north can have such a love affair with the ocean. The ocean is where I am truly happy. The only place where I feel that I am complete. I have said many times that when I step into the ocean after a long absence from it, it feels like a missing part of myself returns, every atavistic gene in my body reveling in being returned to its birthplace in the primordial ooze. It is a spiritual experience for me, which is why I am so surprised at myself for not doing it sooner. 

Since Aiman is not chasing his cats around the pool this morning, there is nothing holding me back from taking a dip in the sea before the day takes me over. I finish reading my blogs, finish my tragic instant coffee, and jump on my scooter. 

I park my scooter outside the spa and walk across the road to the beach. The beautiful thing about Chaweng being a party town is that the beach is deserted in the morning, most of the tourists having only gone to bed a few hours ago. There is the occasional jogger, the odd Thai fishing boat, but mostly, the beach belongs to me, a vast expanse of sand stretching miles in either direction.




Sadly, at this hour, on this day, it is also low tide, so even after wading in the direction of the open ocean for a few minutes, the water is only up to my thighs. I give up on trying to reach neck-deep water and lay down in sweet, healing, emerald green liquid. I close my eyes, and breathe, and search my mind for that peace the usually comes so quickly. Alas, I am too distracted, too focused on the tasks ahead of me to let go completely. It occurs to me that it’s a bit like bad sex. You really want it, but for whatever reason, it’s just not going to happen like you hoped it would. And, as in the case of bad sex, it’s best to just admit defeat and move on. So I do. 

I pick up my scooter from the spa and drive to a furniture store that Ajay told me about. I want spa clients to be able to lock their personal belongs away because Ajay has had problems in the past with staff stealing money from clients. I had checked for lockers at the Makro Cash and Carry,(an institution for small business on Samui) but the only option there was an 18-locker unit, which is a bit ridiculous for a spa with 3 treatment rooms. And I certainly wasn't about to spend 8,000 Baht !!!




The furniture store, the name of which I can neither pronounce nor spell, is run by an odd, yet charming Burmese guy. He has wide selection of lockers that are more suited to my needs, and they come in a variety of sizes and colours. Perfect. I choose a 4-door model, in green to go with the spa colours, and ask if they can deliver it if I supply the address. They offer, instead, to load my purchase into a motorcycle with a side-car, and follow me to the spa, all included in the price of course. Having my purchase follow behind my scooter makes me feel more 'local' than ever before. 

We arrive at the spa, purchase bouncing merrily in the side-car, and I tip the delivery guys a few hundred Baht and send them on their way.  After finding the perfect position for the lockers, outside the shower room, it is time for my assessment-massage with Mr. Jay. Once again, I am pleasantly surprised at the quality of massage I receive. Mr. Jay has good hands, and does some really brilliant things to the muscles in my legs. My only complaint is that he uses WAY too much massage oil. At the end of the massage, I feel like I’ve been prepped for Turkish Oil Wrestling. (Google it) 

With the help of my new friend Patrick (Thai name, Surasak), who is a fluent Thai/English speaker, I gather the boys to give them my feedback on their massages. Mr. Pat has no English at all, and Mr. Jay understands only a little.  PP is doing his best to look managerial whilst sitting in on the meeting, pen and paper in hand. 

Once the assessment meeting is over, PP seizes the opportunity to use Patrick as translator, and asks if he can tell me some of his future plans. He lays out his plan to get a credit card system installed, free of charge, his plans on how banking and cash flow will be handled in the future, his plans to increase business etc. All of this is admirable, and most of it quite sensible, but it does seem odd to me that these plans should be presented now, knowing, as I do, that PP already called Ajay to ask for a job. It smacks of a desperation. I wonder if he has even thought about the fact Ajay may have informed me of this, or perhaps he thinks that because Ajay and I argue we don’t talk about other things. As I have still not yet had the chance to talk to Mr. Nut, I tell Mr. PP that I will consider everything he’s presented. And I also let him know that tomorrow, it will be his turn to give me a massage. He pales. 

Once again, it is after 5:00, Pride Bar is open, and I have not yet had a cocktail. I park my exhausted ass in a bar stool and, once again, enjoy some social time, some wine, and some of Patrick’s (Surasak’s) delicious, home-cooked Thai food. (Soooooo yummy). 


We, Ajay & I,  have arranged another meeting with Mr. Nut at Ajay’s spa. I depart from the bar and head over to Ajay’s place, praying that Mr. Nut shows up this time. When I arrive, as we wait for Mr. Nut, Ajay continues to tell me small bits of gossip he’s heard about PP. How he always seems to have a lot of gold jewellery, how he would allow people to believe that he was the owner of Sai Roong, how there was an incident with a customer complaining about stolen money, which PP never told me about. The more I hear about PP, the more I feel that a shit-storm is coming.

Once again, Mr. Nut does not show up.  This does not help my increasing frustration and agitation. I tell Ajay to tell Mr. Nut that tomorrow is his last chance to redeem himself, to tell his story, to perhaps even win his job back because things are going to be changing. 

In the name of therapeutic self-medicating, I return to Pride Bar and immerse myself in noise, friends old and new, and in the constant game of trying to get away from crazy Terry, who is still calling me Sally for some reason.

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