Years ago, when I shared a house with Roberta, on the first day we were moving in, we were standing in the bathroom and she lamented, "Oy mine gott, there's not place to hide tampons in here". I assured her that I was in no way frightened or offended by tampons and that they didn't need to be hidden. None-the-less, she squirreled them away in a corner of the linen closet. To make my point, that night after she was in bed, I grabbed a fistful of tampons and laid a trail of them on the floor leading from her bedroom door to the bathroom door. From that day on, the war was on. She would put them in my pillow, I would put them in her shoes. She would hide them in my desk drawers, I would put them in the candlestick holders. You get the idea. It went on for months.
So, last week, after I was finished work (watching "Tuesday's with Morrie" for the 4th time) a group of people gathered at a pub to share a drink and some gossip to celebrate my birthday. Roberta presented me with a lively coloured gift bag, stuffed with oodles of purple tissue paper. When I'd worked my way through all the tissue paper, I discovered....a tampon. And, just for good measure, a panty-liner. I believe my exact words were, "OK, game on!".
For the next few days, I waited for an inspiration and than remembered that Roberta would be at the Tuesday performance, my first performance, of "Tuesdays...". In a flash, it came to me. Since it is dinner theatre, I prepared a special dessert for her, which I had served to her by my long time friend and Assistant Stage Manager, Darcy.
May I present something I call, JELL-O SUPREEZE.
Yes, it IS a tampon in jello. The two accompanying tampons are drizzled with chocolate.
It had the desired effect. She did, however, take it home with her. I'm afraid that sometime in the future, it may be served back to me.
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