THE SPA CHRONICLES: Sometimes, You Have To Go All The Way To The End

Or perhaps, more appropriately titled, Sometimes, you have to go all the way to the other side of the world to get the shit done !!! Flying to Thailand, from Cincinnati Ohio, for one week, is stupid. I’m one of those people that really enjoys surfing the internet for good fares and flight times, but on this occasion, I decided to use a new company called FlightFox that utilizes a worldwide network of geeks that do nothing but surf the internet for good fares and flight times. They got me a good price, but the travel time was murder. Cincinnati to LAX, LAX to Guangzhou, Guangzhou to Bangkok, Bangkok to Koh Samui. Thirty hours of travel time…..one way. Shoot me. And I was flying Southern China Airlines, which I’d never used before. The seat was comfortable but the food options and service were, well,interesting.  By the time I landed, I had no idea what day it was, and my body had no idea what time it was.

Even after all those airports, all those plane changes, all those flying hours, landing in Koh Samui is worth it. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it feels like home, but my body and brain have an immediate response to being here. 

My breathing changes, my shoulders drop, my body begins to feel lighter. The sight of the Big Buddha, sitting serenely on his hilltop, makes me smile. 

The oppressive heat and humidity makes me smile.  The taxi ride through the white-knuckle traffic on the narrow roads, the spirit houses, the stray dogs, all of it makes me smile. Then I check into my rented studio and meet my host and I really start smiling. My host, Aiman, is an impossibly beautiful, chiseled, tanned French god, with huge brown eyes, eyelashes like ravens wings, a smile that makes my knees weak, and he is wearing nothing but the tiniest bathing trunks imaginable. After checking in, I walk in circles in my room for a bit, trying to unpack, dizzy with jet lag, and still slightly flustered from flirting with Aiman.

Sadly, the only picture I have of Aiman

from his Whatsapp profile

Handsome French host aside, it is 1:00 in the afternoon, and I must focus on the tasks that I have come so very far to attend to. I secure a motorbike from Aiman, after negotiating on the price, (200 Baht a day is far too expensive!) and I head to the spa.

It’s an odd feeling knowing that I’m about to meet my own staff for the first time. Certainly unique in my experience. I turn off of the main road onto our little street, Moo 2, and park my motorbike in front of the spa. It looks good. Welcoming. The statue of Ganesha is draped with flowers, the plethora of plants are leafy and green, and my Goddess statue (that we lugged from Lamai in the back seat of Ajay's car) is wearing a flower crown as she rules over the entrance. 

The boys have, of course, prepared for my arrival. The spa is immaculate. I am underwhelmed with PP’s love of plastic flowers and granny-style curtains, but overall, it’s clean and inviting.

We move quickly through the awkward introductions in a mix of Thai and English, and I begin unloading the goods that I have brought for the spa from America. The bamboo wallpaper mural that I carried through five airports in a mailing tube occupies the boys as they lay it out on the floor, trying to see the big picture. I also show them the selection of essential oils that I brought for aromatherapy massage, and the iPod onto which I have loaded an experimental play list designed to combat the music in the evenings from the bar next door. Thankfully, the Lady-bar on the other side of us has closed. Their music was unbearably loud. As were their girls!  

I make a general inspection of the spa. The kitchen is mostly clean. Cluttered, and a few too many mouse droppings for my liking (it’s impossible to completely eradicate the mice in our area) but clean enough. The back room is a little too crammed with stuff, but it's out of sight so I ignore it. The treatment rooms are in good shape, the bathroom is sparkling, and the shower room looks good except for PP’s fucking plastic flowers. I point out to PP the things that must go immediately: the plastic flowers, the scalloped, sheer granny-curtains over the main doors, and the casual cushions on the reception chairs that are printed with wide-eyed cartoon frogs. 

I let the boys know that, starting tomorrow, they will each have to give me a massage. When I have had a massage from all of them, we will have a staff meeting so that I can critique their massages techniques and talk about ways to improve general service. For now, I must address my first order of business....sorting out some things with Ajay....who still doesn't know I'm on the island. In order for me to get a clear picture of everything that has been going on, I am going to have to hear everyone's story, and then fill in the blanks on my own. 

I make the short drive down the main street to Ajay's spa. He is characteristically unsurprised to see me, and greets me as though I've just returned from a long weekend. This is one of the things I like about Ajay, very little actually ruffles him. I waste very little time with pleasantries as there are many things I want to discuss.  Ajay's absence from Sairoong, the firing of Mr. Nut, Mr. PP and his management style...which we discuss at length, Ajay's future involvement in the spa, if any, and last but not least, legally changing the Board of Directors of our company that owns the spa.

Back story: When you are Farang (foreigner) and you want to start a business in Thailand, you must create a corporate entity with a Thai person as your partner. That Thai person must own 51% of the business, by law, and there must be 3 other Thai persons on the Board of Directors. Also, when you first form the company, 2 Thai people must be the First and Secondary directors on the board. After three days, which seems random to me but whatever, the Board can meet and vote the Farang in as Secondary Director. Because I had to leave the island immediately after we created the company, we never got the chance to do any of this, and I do not want Ajay's mother acting as Secondary Director on my Board. 

Ajay has decided that he wants nothing more to do with Sairoong, except as a partner on paper. This suits me as well and he is happy to join me at the lawyer's office to sign the papers making me Secondary Director. While he is on the phone with the lawyer, setting up an appointment and chatting on in Thai, I decide to open my Jack'd app (google it)  to amuse myself for a moment. Within 2 minutes, I get a message, from Mr. Nut, the one who Mr. PP fired before my arrival.  This is not the usual type of message one gets on one gets on this app.  Mr. Nut is very upset and tells me that he was treated badly and unfairly and that things have been very difficult for him. He says he doesn't really want to talk because it upsets him, but he wants me to know his side of the story. It seems to me that this is a story I need to hear in order to help me put together the complete picture.

Next chapter: Digging In The Dirt

THE SPA CHRONICLES: Who's The Boss

Because of the huge time difference between North America and Thailand, I usually start my mornings with some form of communication with PP. The time when I’m starting my first morning coffee is often, depending on what time zone I’m in,  about the same time that they start winding down for the night at the spa. 

The book keeping/receipts often need clarification

On this particular morning, I turn my phone on to find an explosion of messages from Ajay and PP. PP is mad at Ajay for managing from a distance and for telling him what to do. Ajay is mad at PP for not communicating or dropping off reports/receipts on a daily basis. Or at least this is what I can glean from the group conversation because some of it is in Thai and some of it is in PP’s badly translated English. Example: “I feel tired and discouraged incident that often, I’m doing my best. You’re looking at that I’m a bad person.”

The whole thing feels like an argument between siblings, and I have no choice but to play the parent. PP refuses to talk to Ajay and cuts him out of our group chat on the app we use for texting, and Ajay is pissed because PP won’t do as he’s told. They both have some valid points to their arguments, but they are also both very stubborn. I decide to stand with PP on this one since Ajay’s communication with me is as bad as ever, and his interest in having a hand in running Sairoong seems non-existent. I assume that giving PP more responsibility will soothe his ego and keep him busy. However, I make a point of reminding PP that he is an employee and, present or not, Ajay is legally a co-owner of the spa and is therefore still a big boss. 

Empty streets means too much time to think about arguing

Even the bar next door is quiet

By the time this shift in power begins, it has been over six months since I bought the spa and returned to work in America. The current situation is the confirmation I need to finally accept that there can be no real change, growth or resolution until I return and see for myself what is really going on. I arrange one week off and book flights to return to Samui to knock some heads together.

PP continues to ask me when I am coming back to Samui, but I evade him because I want to make a surprise inspection. Over time, my non-answers seem to really be getting to him and he pushes harder each time he asks. When my arrival date is only a few weeks away, he loses his shit and demands that I tell him the dates because he wants to take some time off to go home and doesn’t want to miss me. I relent and give him the info.

A short time after that, I get a text from PP telling me that he wants to fire one of the staff, Mr. Nut. He suspects that Mr. Nut is using drugs, also he does not help clean the spa and pressures customers for tips. PP says that he has given Nut many warnings but “he does not update himself”. I tell PP that if Nut has drugs at the spa, then he must be fired because I will not tolerate another police incident, but I stress that PP must be absolutely certain before taking action. 

Two days later, PP tells me that he is feeling a great sense of relief because Mr. Nut is gone. He no longer feels that he has to worry about police coming to the spa.

In a way, I am also relieved because we had too many staff anyway since business is so slow, but in the back of my mind, red lights are flashing,  and the clanging of alarm bells is growing louder.

Next chapter: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY

THE SPA CHRONICLES: No, I Am Not A Drug Lord

  

Upon receiving Ajay’s first text about the police, my curiosity is piqued, but I am not immediately on guard. It’s not uncommon for the police to be at the spa. They stop by regularly to pick up their bribe. Every month. One thousand Baht per month for the police and the same for the army. Everyone up and down our street does it. You just add it to your rent and consider it part of your budget. However, when I receive the text saying that staff has been arrested, I call him immediately. He informs me that three of the boys have been taken away on drug charges. I’m surprised no one in my hotel calls the police when they hear me scream, “AJAY, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!”.  

 

On the up side, there is no need for us to endure the discomfort of having to fire them. The police take care of that.  Two of them receive a 3 year sentence, and the third one gets 25 years! Given the severity of the sentence, it’s safe to assume that they were dealing drugs out of my spa. One of the boys at the spa turned the other three in to the police because he didn’t want to be involved. This is a good thing because his testimony keeps Ajay and I in the clear.

Somehow, I resist the urge to give Ajay an, “I told you so” over the whole drug incident. Perhaps I’m hopeful that the event itself will serve as a lesson. And more importantly, there are larger matters to attend to as we suddenly had no staff.

Enter Mr. Long, real name Wuttipong Pangpromma, and Mr. PP, real name Phonphipat Chatmontree. (Remember, they choose their own English names. Nothing to do with me!) Mr. Long used to run his own spa which had recently closed, and I’m not entirely sure where Ajay found Mr. PP. Regardless, I am thrilled because I am suddenly getting daily communication from my staff. I want to hire one of them as a manager as soon as possible so that I can begin to rely less on Ajay, and more on someone that will actually communicate with me.   Mr. Long is the clear choice since he knows the business and speaks English and German, but he doesn’t seem to care one way or the other. Mr. PP on the other hand makes a hard-core pitch for the position, sending me pictures of how he is decorating the spa as well as his marketing ideas. His pitch is in Thai since his English is minimal, making him the lesser candidate, but he lobbies me for weeks. Eventually, we agree that he will manage the spa with guidance from Mr. Long who will also help him with English.

 PP decorates

 

 

Things are looking up and, for the first time I am enjoying actually running my spa. I spend a fair amount of time on the phone with the boys hearing stories about Ajay’s mother interfering with the running of the business, stories about Ajay’s absence, and, of course, the sudden (and on-going) nose-dive in tourism on Koh Samui. The recent installation of a military government, martial law in Bangkok, a drop in the Euro and a highly publicized murder on neighbouring island Koh Tao are scaring tourists away in droves. Picking up the challenge, I set about listing the spa on various websites, placing advertisements in the local “what to do” magazines, and I co-sponsored the TSG Games which will be held on Samui in September.

 Our empty street

 

Through this period, I communicate very little with Ajay. Mr. PP sends financial reports to both Ajay and I, but Ajay is mostly focused on his insurance selling. At some point along the way, Mr. Long quietly fades out of sight, which, in hindsight, should have set off my alarm bells. Alas, it did not.  So PP and I communicate via translation apps, which is tedious and hellishly frustrating. There’s no such thing as a simple translation from English to Thai, so I develop the habit of translating into Thai, then back into English in order to make myself clear. When, “Did you fix the shower” translates to “Editing room”, a simple 3 minute conversation becomes a 23 minute one. 

Still, things carry on relatively happily for a time, with PP sending me his redecorating pics along with pics of himself and the boys, always promising to look after the spa until I return.

 PP's decorating and advertising.

 

English is not his strong suit

  

                                                                         

       Mr. PP, Mr. Nut, and Mr. Jay

                                                                        Good Buddhist boys praying for business

 

Then two things happen that made my spidey-senses tingle.

Next chapter: WHO’S THE BOSS