THE SPA CHRONICLES: Sometimes, You Have To Go All The Way To The End

Or perhaps, more appropriately titled, Sometimes, you have to go all the way to the other side of the world to get the shit done !!! Flying to Thailand, from Cincinnati Ohio, for one week, is stupid. I’m one of those people that really enjoys surfing the internet for good fares and flight times, but on this occasion, I decided to use a new company called FlightFox that utilizes a worldwide network of geeks that do nothing but surf the internet for good fares and flight times. They got me a good price, but the travel time was murder. Cincinnati to LAX, LAX to Guangzhou, Guangzhou to Bangkok, Bangkok to Koh Samui. Thirty hours of travel time…..one way. Shoot me. And I was flying Southern China Airlines, which I’d never used before. The seat was comfortable but the food options and service were, well,interesting.  By the time I landed, I had no idea what day it was, and my body had no idea what time it was.

Even after all those airports, all those plane changes, all those flying hours, landing in Koh Samui is worth it. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it feels like home, but my body and brain have an immediate response to being here. 

My breathing changes, my shoulders drop, my body begins to feel lighter. The sight of the Big Buddha, sitting serenely on his hilltop, makes me smile. 

The oppressive heat and humidity makes me smile.  The taxi ride through the white-knuckle traffic on the narrow roads, the spirit houses, the stray dogs, all of it makes me smile. Then I check into my rented studio and meet my host and I really start smiling. My host, Aiman, is an impossibly beautiful, chiseled, tanned French god, with huge brown eyes, eyelashes like ravens wings, a smile that makes my knees weak, and he is wearing nothing but the tiniest bathing trunks imaginable. After checking in, I walk in circles in my room for a bit, trying to unpack, dizzy with jet lag, and still slightly flustered from flirting with Aiman.

Sadly, the only picture I have of Aiman

from his Whatsapp profile

Handsome French host aside, it is 1:00 in the afternoon, and I must focus on the tasks that I have come so very far to attend to. I secure a motorbike from Aiman, after negotiating on the price, (200 Baht a day is far too expensive!) and I head to the spa.

It’s an odd feeling knowing that I’m about to meet my own staff for the first time. Certainly unique in my experience. I turn off of the main road onto our little street, Moo 2, and park my motorbike in front of the spa. It looks good. Welcoming. The statue of Ganesha is draped with flowers, the plethora of plants are leafy and green, and my Goddess statue (that we lugged from Lamai in the back seat of Ajay's car) is wearing a flower crown as she rules over the entrance. 

The boys have, of course, prepared for my arrival. The spa is immaculate. I am underwhelmed with PP’s love of plastic flowers and granny-style curtains, but overall, it’s clean and inviting.

We move quickly through the awkward introductions in a mix of Thai and English, and I begin unloading the goods that I have brought for the spa from America. The bamboo wallpaper mural that I carried through five airports in a mailing tube occupies the boys as they lay it out on the floor, trying to see the big picture. I also show them the selection of essential oils that I brought for aromatherapy massage, and the iPod onto which I have loaded an experimental play list designed to combat the music in the evenings from the bar next door. Thankfully, the Lady-bar on the other side of us has closed. Their music was unbearably loud. As were their girls!  

I make a general inspection of the spa. The kitchen is mostly clean. Cluttered, and a few too many mouse droppings for my liking (it’s impossible to completely eradicate the mice in our area) but clean enough. The back room is a little too crammed with stuff, but it's out of sight so I ignore it. The treatment rooms are in good shape, the bathroom is sparkling, and the shower room looks good except for PP’s fucking plastic flowers. I point out to PP the things that must go immediately: the plastic flowers, the scalloped, sheer granny-curtains over the main doors, and the casual cushions on the reception chairs that are printed with wide-eyed cartoon frogs. 

I let the boys know that, starting tomorrow, they will each have to give me a massage. When I have had a massage from all of them, we will have a staff meeting so that I can critique their massages techniques and talk about ways to improve general service. For now, I must address my first order of business....sorting out some things with Ajay....who still doesn't know I'm on the island. In order for me to get a clear picture of everything that has been going on, I am going to have to hear everyone's story, and then fill in the blanks on my own. 

I make the short drive down the main street to Ajay's spa. He is characteristically unsurprised to see me, and greets me as though I've just returned from a long weekend. This is one of the things I like about Ajay, very little actually ruffles him. I waste very little time with pleasantries as there are many things I want to discuss.  Ajay's absence from Sairoong, the firing of Mr. Nut, Mr. PP and his management style...which we discuss at length, Ajay's future involvement in the spa, if any, and last but not least, legally changing the Board of Directors of our company that owns the spa.

Back story: When you are Farang (foreigner) and you want to start a business in Thailand, you must create a corporate entity with a Thai person as your partner. That Thai person must own 51% of the business, by law, and there must be 3 other Thai persons on the Board of Directors. Also, when you first form the company, 2 Thai people must be the First and Secondary directors on the board. After three days, which seems random to me but whatever, the Board can meet and vote the Farang in as Secondary Director. Because I had to leave the island immediately after we created the company, we never got the chance to do any of this, and I do not want Ajay's mother acting as Secondary Director on my Board. 

Ajay has decided that he wants nothing more to do with Sairoong, except as a partner on paper. This suits me as well and he is happy to join me at the lawyer's office to sign the papers making me Secondary Director. While he is on the phone with the lawyer, setting up an appointment and chatting on in Thai, I decide to open my Jack'd app (google it)  to amuse myself for a moment. Within 2 minutes, I get a message, from Mr. Nut, the one who Mr. PP fired before my arrival.  This is not the usual type of message one gets on one gets on this app.  Mr. Nut is very upset and tells me that he was treated badly and unfairly and that things have been very difficult for him. He says he doesn't really want to talk because it upsets him, but he wants me to know his side of the story. It seems to me that this is a story I need to hear in order to help me put together the complete picture.

Next chapter: Digging In The Dirt