DIRTY ROTTEN VALENCIA, CA

We are spending a day off here in beautiful Valencia, home of Six Flags Magic Mountain, where we will be for most of the day, hurling our guts out and trying to withstand the g-forces on their collection of mammoth roller coasters.

Heather wrote a song which she sang to us on the long bus ride yesterday. Though most of the jokes are 'insider', I thought it was worth publishing it for y'all.

Heather's Tour Song

Starbucks and Subways
Wal-Mart, Ruby Tuesdays
That's how we spend our days
OUr life on the road

Eight-thirty for Nine, nine-thirty for ten
We load up His Majesty and hit the road again
With slippers on our feets
In our sweet pimped-out bus seats
I wonder what movie Jess picked for today

I wonder where our lunch stop will be
It better come quickly cause I have to pee
There's only one toilet and it's a long line
Gotta get to the Walgreens to buy my purse wine

Pei-Wei, Panerra
Don't forget Cracker Barrell
That's how we spend our days
Our life on the road

We've bussed 'cross the country
My butts getting lumpy
And Tyler's "nawt happy"
What state are we in?
I'm feeling the jet lag
Get Christy a barf bag
Oh fuck! I just dropped my PSP again

Days off for sightseeing the beach or the zoo
Just bought cowboy boots
Ladies unpack your 'cutes'
In the VIP section we party with class
Especially when our girl gets voted BEST ASS

"Continental" - Conti for short
Don't care if I'm fatter, I love waffle batter
I can stock up my snack bar
They saw me, Abort

Oh Denny's and IHOP
Grilled cheese at the truck stop
That's how we spend our days
Our life on the road

We arrived at five-thirty
You've only one hour
for a shit and a shower
Before the bus call

I wonder what sets will be cut for doay
And the dressing rooms are a good half-mile away
Pauls' calling the show from his personal bathroom
But YES! I just heard that there's snacks in the Greenroom

Oooooh Starbucks and Subways
That's how we spend our days
We've seen every season
From mountian to ocean

A cast like no other
We've laughed all the hours
'Cause that's what it's like for
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels