DIRTY ROTTEN PHOENIX, AZ

I forgot to mention in my Thousand Oaks entry that Falcucci hurt his back mid-way through the run and had to have Duff cover some of his track, including carrying Stephen Patterson in the hotel scene. This sounds plausible on paper until you remember that the smallest guy in the company(5' 5", 150 lbs) has to lift and carry the biggest guy in the company(5' 10" 190 lbs) up four stairs and down four more on the other side. It was hilarious to watch. Poor Duff could barely make it. He did it for a few shows and then suggested that we find another solution before he became crippled.

Our Phoenix hotel, Hotel San Carlos, is something of a local landmark. Built in the twenties and inhabited by many famous people through the decades, notably Marilyn Monroe and Mae West who often played the theatre we're in. The hotel is now a trendy boutique place with a sassy lobby bar and restaurant. Unfortunately, our arrival is a disaster. The crabby old ladies behind the desk do not have our keys ready and are completely uninterested in being hurried or told what to do by Tyler. Then we find out that some of the rooms are not ready. Yelling ensues. Managers are called.

Very little about the hotel has changed since it was built. Because of it's age, the rooms are very small, a bit of an issue for Michael and I sharing since we'll be here for 10 days. In our room, the bathroom floor is, for some reason, 6 inches higher than the bedroom area, requiring you to step up on entry. Again, because of the age of the place, there are no counters in the bathroom and the tub/shower is tiny. The crew, who have already spent one night here are pretty unhappy with how thin the walls are. Michael says he was actually kept awake by the snorer in the next room. (Michael, who can sleep through a war). Long story short, people are unhappy, a meeting is held before the show, it is announced that we will move. The next day we check into a beautiful Wyndham Hotel which is one block away. Everyone is much happier and there is much, much more space.

During our first show in the stunning Orpheum Theater, I pull a classic. I miss an entrance. It is the apron scene near the end of Act 1 where Brian and I sneak to the center of the stage behind our rolling palm trees. For this performance, however, there is only one palm tree rolling to center stage because I am in the upstage crossover thinking, for some reason, that we've already done the palm tree scene and I'm waiting for Heather to start singing. Eventually, reality hits me in the head and with a start I exclaim, "Oh crap! I'm not there!". I race to the stage where I find Brian standing, lonely, forlorn and little bored behind his palm tree. What I don't realize is that my mic is on, so the entire audience has heard my exclamation. Later, the crew tells me that since this is a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, there must be some kind of planetary alignment happening and they're all buying lottery tickets.

Oh, and did I mention that it's 100 degrees here?!?!?