Saturday, December 13, 2008
Dirty Rotten Naples Plus
I hadn't planned on making another entry for this leg of the tour, but this is too good to pass up.
There is a lot of money here and that is reflected in the shops we pass on the way to the theatre. It seems that all anybody ever does is redecorate their homes since there's a furniture or home accessories store every 200 yards. There is also a very high end shopping mall anchored by a large Saks Fifth Avenue. So imagine our delight as we pass a store that boldly stands out by proclaiming it's name in huge letters.....
"NOT JUST FUTONS AND BARSTOOLS". Not kidding. Not even a little bit.
There is a lot of money here and that is reflected in the shops we pass on the way to the theatre. It seems that all anybody ever does is redecorate their homes since there's a furniture or home accessories store every 200 yards. There is also a very high end shopping mall anchored by a large Saks Fifth Avenue. So imagine our delight as we pass a store that boldly stands out by proclaiming it's name in huge letters.....
"NOT JUST FUTONS AND BARSTOOLS". Not kidding. Not even a little bit.
DIRTY ROTTEN NAPLES
Or as I've taken to calling it, Nipples, Florida.....sunshine state my ass!!! Well, ok the sun IS shining but it's not really short pants weather. When one drives through miles and miles of orange groves and palm trees, one expects warm ocean breezes.
As soon as we arrive at the hotel, I dump my stuff and head toward the beach. I'm told it's about a 20 minute walk which is fine with me after sitting on a bus for days. I pass many, many large and expensive homes and condo units. Luxury cars and boats parked in the shade of waving palms. I eventually reach a public access point that allows me past the condo units to the beach which, I discover to my delight, is deserted. It's very, very windy and the surf is pounding in. I can feel the salt spray on my face and I park my ass on the soft white sand to enjoy the salt facial. After sitting for about 20 minutes and enjoying the solitude, I realize that I can barely see out of my glasses any more because they're covered with salt.
Our show is a quiet one, though I do have a Mr. Bean moment which causes me to crack myself up. In my scene with K.K., I lean back on the hotel desk and accidentally hit the little bell, which surprises me and causes me to reach around to silence it, which causes me to knock the phone off of it's cradle, which causes me to look like an inept juggler for the next few minutes as I try to put everything right. I am also trying to suppress the giggles. Throughout all of this, K.K. watches me with an expression that says, "I'm not at all sure what you're doing. Are you going to say your line any time soon?".
Today is our last day for this leg of the tour. We do an understudy rehearsal this afternoon, a show tonight and then we fly home tomorrow for the Christmas break.
As soon as we arrive at the hotel, I dump my stuff and head toward the beach. I'm told it's about a 20 minute walk which is fine with me after sitting on a bus for days. I pass many, many large and expensive homes and condo units. Luxury cars and boats parked in the shade of waving palms. I eventually reach a public access point that allows me past the condo units to the beach which, I discover to my delight, is deserted. It's very, very windy and the surf is pounding in. I can feel the salt spray on my face and I park my ass on the soft white sand to enjoy the salt facial. After sitting for about 20 minutes and enjoying the solitude, I realize that I can barely see out of my glasses any more because they're covered with salt.
Our show is a quiet one, though I do have a Mr. Bean moment which causes me to crack myself up. In my scene with K.K., I lean back on the hotel desk and accidentally hit the little bell, which surprises me and causes me to reach around to silence it, which causes me to knock the phone off of it's cradle, which causes me to look like an inept juggler for the next few minutes as I try to put everything right. I am also trying to suppress the giggles. Throughout all of this, K.K. watches me with an expression that says, "I'm not at all sure what you're doing. Are you going to say your line any time soon?".
Today is our last day for this leg of the tour. We do an understudy rehearsal this afternoon, a show tonight and then we fly home tomorrow for the Christmas break.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Dirty Rotten Editing
Clearly I've been doing my part to help keep telecommunication companies in business. It seems that someone from Paducah read my blog and was offended by it. Telephone calls have been burning across borders ever since.
The purpose of my blog has always been to entertain. Stimulate, yes. Engage, sure. Titillate, perhaps. Enlighten, enliven and encourage conversation....absolutely. But the primary reason the blog exists is to entertain people by sending tiny little bits and bytes of me and my crazy life out into cyberspace so that those in my life, and the people in their circles don't seem so far away.
None the less, in the interest of international peace & goodwill (it is Christmas after all), in the interest of international commerce (the economy being what it is), in the interest of the greater good and proving that we humans might be able to prove our self-professed superior intellect if we keep trying, I have graciously decided to edit the chapter in question.
In the interest of authenticity, however, I decided to leave my spelling and grammatical errors intact.
The purpose of my blog has always been to entertain. Stimulate, yes. Engage, sure. Titillate, perhaps. Enlighten, enliven and encourage conversation....absolutely. But the primary reason the blog exists is to entertain people by sending tiny little bits and bytes of me and my crazy life out into cyberspace so that those in my life, and the people in their circles don't seem so far away.
None the less, in the interest of international peace & goodwill (it is Christmas after all), in the interest of international commerce (the economy being what it is), in the interest of the greater good and proving that we humans might be able to prove our self-professed superior intellect if we keep trying, I have graciously decided to edit the chapter in question.
In the interest of authenticity, however, I decided to leave my spelling and grammatical errors intact.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Dirty Rotten Tallahassee
So the thing about KY restaurants not serving liquor on Sundays turns out to be not true. We now begin to wonder if the helpful local crew member who whipped us into a frenzy with horror stories of dry Kentucky on a Sunday is having a good laugh with her quilting group. It's true that you can't buy it, but restaurants can serve it as many of the company find as the day progresses.
Another day of travel mayhem looms ahead of as I try to run away from reality by slapping the snooze button on my 6 a.m. alarm. We load the bus and depart the hotel by 7 a.m. heading for Nashville to catch a 10:50 a.m. flight. Ten or so minutes of driving on the interstate and we have to turn around. Keely has left her purse (and therefore, her passport) in the breakfast room. The real comedy here is the fact that moments before we departed, Jessica brought the purse onboard, thinking that it belonged to Karen Kay. When Karen Kay said that it was not hers, Jessica returned the purse to the breakfast room where she found it.
En route to Nashsville airport we encounter a serious traffic slow down due to an accident. This slow down, combined with our unscheduled return to the hotel puts us in jeopardy of missing our flight. Suddenly, everything turns into a military operation as we figure out the best way to stream line our check-in and departure. Our airline reservations have been made in groups of four, so we are divided into those groups, one person in each group responsible for checking-in and printing the boarding passes of the other 3. We are STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to leave every possible bit of baggage on the bus since it will arrive in Tallahasee by the time we finish the show. This will keep us from being held up by checking and paying for stowed luggage. (Currently, I have nothing with me but my purse, my laptop and some contact lenses. I am hoping that the bus gets here before our reception after the show so that I can at least change my shirt.) We blow through the airport like a force to be reckoned with and arrive at the departure gate with time enough to buy a coffee and/or muffin. We should have had the soundtrack from an "Indiana Jones" movie playing during our assault on the terminal.
We arrive, an hour later, in Atlanta to make our connection to Tallahasee......and disaster strikes. The flight has been over-sold and four of our cast may have to wait for the next flight. The rest of us board and cross our fingers. Three of the missing four board the plane, (thanks to volunteers who are willing to take a later flight) but Melanie is left behind in Atlanta. Tyler will now have to drop us off at the hotel and then return to airport to await her arrival. Tyler shows no visible signs of stress except for his hair that grows taller and fluffier as he continues to run his hands through it.
Tallahasee is another arena show, like the one in London. No ice this time, but the same otherwise. The p0st-show reception is no small affair. They have laid out a spread for us and their subscribers that includes a seafood buffet, roast beef, roast turkey, and coffee & liqueur bar.....you name it. One of the subscribers tells me that this is the bonus for having to play in an arena and that a performing arts center in the works. The bus has not arrived as we thought it would so those of us who left everything on it earlier in the day now look conspiculously under-dressed and under-shaven for a "do" of this calibre.
The view of Tallahasee from my 14th floor hotel room is stunning. It seems as though this little city was just dropped into the midst of a forest, greenery stretching off to the horizon.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
DIRTY ROTTEN PADUCAH ky
The theatre is beautiful and the community is quite proud of it. It cost 50 million, 20 of with the government gave them and they fund-raised the rest. We've played to about 1,200 people each night and they loved the show.
We averted a near disaster last night. Today is our day off, which means we are spending it here in Paducah. One of the local crew happened to overhear us talking about the things we wanted to do and informed us that, not only can you not buy liquor in Kentucky on a Sunday, RESTAURANTS CANNOT SERVE IT EITHER !!!!!!!!!!! We knew we were in the bible belt but COME ON. It reminds me of the bad old days in Alberta when your food bill had to be higher than your liquor bill in order to appease the Churchies. We informed our company manager that if he wanted to avoid a mutiny, the bus would make a stop at the liquor store on the way back to the hotel so that we could have cocktails on our day off. I'm sure the employees at the liquor store are still talking about the night that 20 crazy people stormed the store. It's even possible that a sign has gone up that says, "No more than 5 actors at a time."
Tomorrow will be another long day as we have to leave the hotel at 6 a.m. to drive to Nashville in order to fly to Tallahassee FL....then do a show that night. At least it will be warmers.
Photos of Michael and Sarah in and out of their crew bus.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Dirty Rotten Ames
An uneventful trip from Minneapolis to Ames Iowa. There is more grumbling and outbursts as we arrive at the hotel to find that, once again, the info. sheets are a lie and there are no actual restaurants within walking distance. Our company manager is, once again, on the phone screaming at people. Who needs t.v. when we can just push the company manager's buttons and watch him go.
The theatre is on the campus of Iowa State University and it is HUGE!!!! No, I mean really, truly, gargantuan. We've played theatres that hold 2500 people before, but something about the design of this one makes the space particularly cavernous. The main floor holds 1700 and playing to the back row is like playing to the other end of a football field. There are three balconies and the top one is high enough that you could base jump from it. Obviously, we're a big attraction as the main floor is mostly full and there are a good number of seats sold on the first level balcony and loges. Steve and I, in an effort to articulate, give the orchestra a 2 hour spit-shower. It's like playing the coliseum in Rome.
Upon returning to the hotel, any restaurant that will deliver does a hefty business as the post-show hunger sets in.
Another day of traveling as we begin making our way to Paducah KY. (Come on, say it out loud. It's fun. Paducah!) Today we will get half-way there, spending the night in Champaign IL. When do we get to the warm states again?
The theatre is on the campus of Iowa State University and it is HUGE!!!! No, I mean really, truly, gargantuan. We've played theatres that hold 2500 people before, but something about the design of this one makes the space particularly cavernous. The main floor holds 1700 and playing to the back row is like playing to the other end of a football field. There are three balconies and the top one is high enough that you could base jump from it. Obviously, we're a big attraction as the main floor is mostly full and there are a good number of seats sold on the first level balcony and loges. Steve and I, in an effort to articulate, give the orchestra a 2 hour spit-shower. It's like playing the coliseum in Rome.
Upon returning to the hotel, any restaurant that will deliver does a hefty business as the post-show hunger sets in.
Another day of traveling as we begin making our way to Paducah KY. (Come on, say it out loud. It's fun. Paducah!) Today we will get half-way there, spending the night in Champaign IL. When do we get to the warm states again?
Thursday, December 04, 2008
DIRTY ROTTEN MINNEAPOLIS
After hours of driving through endless evergreen forest on a two-lane highway (shades of my childhood in Northern Manitoba) we finally reach the interstate and begin to re-emerge into civilization.
While unpacking the night before, I realize that I have left the power cord for my laptop in the hotel in London. This stresses me a lot because not only can I not charge or use my laptop, but my mp3 player also needs to be charged from the laptop. Translation: I've just lost 80% of my bus-ride entertainment. We stop for a meal break in Hayward WI, a pimple with a grain elevator in the middle of nowhere, and I spy a tiny shack with a sign that says, " GADGETS - computer sales & service". I figure it's a long-shot, but worth a try. To my major astonishment, they have a choice of 2 power cords for me to buy! Clearly it was meant to be. (The housekeepers in London have since been in touch and are mailing my old power cord to my house.)
As we near Minneapolis, the children are all planning what kind of exciting "things" they're going to do on our night in the big city. Though I really enjoy my cast, I don't need to spend 24 hours a day with them, and I picture myself , alone, in a civilized martini bar somewhere, watching the world and enjoying the sensation of NOT moving. A short walk from the hotel finds me exactly what I'm dreaming of. Lots of teak, a long bar, black leather on the stools. I stand out from the after-work-business crowd, but the detailed way in which I order my martini earns me an almost audible murmer of acceptance. I begin to understand how right I was to let my nose lead me to this place...there is a line of martini glasses chilling with ice cubes behind the bar, a squeeze bottle of olive juice in the fridge and the bartender asks me how cold I prefer my martinis !!!! The shoppers shop, the music muses, the business crowd bizes....all is well in my world.
On the way back to the hotel I stop at MASA, an upscale Mexican restauraunt because I notice that they do take out. I order 3 chicken tacos (the authentic soft kind, not the Americanized crunchy kind)and take them back to my room. I am floored by how delicious they are. Best Mexican food I've had outside of Mexico !!!
N.B.
Downtown Minneapolis is very much like downtown Calgary, but with people.
The bed in my suite is so huge I have to roll over three times to be able to read the time on the alarm clock. I laugh out loud and drift away.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Dirty Rotten Blizzard
The matinee in London reaches it's conclusion without incident. It is a smaller, quieter crowd - Sunday afternoon with Granny.
Our plan is to get directly on the bus and begin our lengthy trek to Houghton MI. It's so remote that we'll have to do it in 2 installments, aiming to end the first part by over-nighting in Gaylord MI. As we leave London and head toward the Sarnia border crossing, the snow has already started to fall and continues to get heavier as we drive. We manage to make it across the border fairly quickly and easily. (We hear later that the crew gets hassled by a dickhead with an inflated sense of self-importance who eventually (and inexplicably) charges them all $6.00 and lets them continue.
We stop for a meal break at a Cracker Barrell restaurant/country store which is the ultimate in fake country/homey kitsch. But the fire is real the biscuits are hot. We watch the snow continue to pile up on the rocking chairs outside the windows.
Driving on, the road conditions get worse and worse and the bus goes slower and slower. We realize that our ETA is getting later and later. Drinking begins. Our stage manager realizes that it's probably not the best time to try to enforce the alcohol rules at this point. We eventually reach our hotel in Gaylord at 2 a.m., tired, grumpy and more that a little tipsy. We wake up the entire hotel on our way to our rooms. Though I am only in the room for 6 hours, I make a mental note to ask the rest of the cast if their rooms are decorated with photos of Neuschwanstein, the castle from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
The morning comes too soon as we load the bus at 10 a.m to continue. Though the snow has let up, the roads are still covered and there are many phone calls being made as to the fate of tonight's show. The producers insist that we try to make it there, even though the trucks and crew will not arrive in time to do a complete set up. It is decided that we will do a 'bare-bone's version of the show, eliminating large set pieces, back drops and even some costumes. Our ETA is 6:15 for a 7:30 show. Our joy at doing yet another 'version' of the show can only matched by our ecstasy at the thought of spending another 8 hour day on the bus tomorrow. Fortunately, we have all purchased ligour from the gas station.
We arrive at the hotel at 6:20 for what is supposed to be a 7:30 show. We are given 30 minutes to shower/shave/pray/vomit and tole that the curtain will be held for as long as it takes for us to do a sound check and safety-spacing rehearsal. The show starts at 8:02 and the crowd goes wild.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Dirty Rotten London
We arrive in London in plenty of time to do a little life administration. I make use of the free time to find a haircut and visit the market.
On the bus, there has been much discussion as to whether our show is at 7:30 or 8:00. This uncertainty apparently arises from the fact that we still don't have a signed contract from this venue. While I can understand how this might account for the lack of information, I wonder aloud if anyone has thought of contacting the box office by phone or on line. I'm certain that the people who are purchasing tickets will have a time printed on them. This idea is met with a why-don't-you-go-be-a-smarty-pants-somewhere-else glare.
As it turns out, the showtime is 8:00, so we arrive at the "theatre" with time enough to have a meeting about the newest wrinkle in our lives. Canadian Actors' Equity, in it's infinite wisdom, has decided that, under the terms of The Canadian Theatre Agreement, it is illegal for us to do a spacing rehearsal and/or sound check before our half-hour call. They consider this a proper rehearsal which can only take place provided that there is a minimum of 90 minutes break before the half-hour call. It doesn't take a team from MENSA to figure out that this is virtually impossible with the kind of schedule we're working on. The spacing is not so much of a problem. The sound check is....but I'll get to that.
The reason "theatre" is in quotes is because we are playing the John Labatt centre. This is where people go to see hockey games and rock concerts. It's an area. An ice rink, not a theatre, in spite of the fact that they sell a "broadway series" out of this venue. Take one large hockey arena, add a portable, raised stage and a mountain of black masking draps. Section off one quarter of the arena at one of the round ends and place the stage on the ice that has been covered with a layer of insulation. The sectioned off 1/4 becomes the "theatre" and the remaining 3/4 of the arena becomes "backstage".
Given the "no sound check" rule, the first half of the show is a nightmare as mics explode with squeaks, pops, bangs, screeches and howls....that is, when they're working at all. The orchestra, as well as a significant portion of the audience, are freezing because, even though the ice has been covered, the cold still seeps up through the insulation into one's feet/legs. The temporary stage is hollow underneath so the sound of huge set pieces being rolled on and off is deafening. I start a rumour that Disney and Columbia Artists have begun negotiation for "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels On Ice", to do a tour of arenas around the country next year.
Still, the show goes well yet again. I am very surprised that when Christy sings the lyrics "Watch me blow the little fuckers heads right off" she gets a huge laugh. Not the kind of response one expects from uptight, middle class London.
We drink, knowing that we have to do it all over again for today's matinee before getting on a bus and traveling to a place called Gaylord, Michigan.
On the bus, there has been much discussion as to whether our show is at 7:30 or 8:00. This uncertainty apparently arises from the fact that we still don't have a signed contract from this venue. While I can understand how this might account for the lack of information, I wonder aloud if anyone has thought of contacting the box office by phone or on line. I'm certain that the people who are purchasing tickets will have a time printed on them. This idea is met with a why-don't-you-go-be-a-smarty-pants-somewhere-else glare.
As it turns out, the showtime is 8:00, so we arrive at the "theatre" with time enough to have a meeting about the newest wrinkle in our lives. Canadian Actors' Equity, in it's infinite wisdom, has decided that, under the terms of The Canadian Theatre Agreement, it is illegal for us to do a spacing rehearsal and/or sound check before our half-hour call. They consider this a proper rehearsal which can only take place provided that there is a minimum of 90 minutes break before the half-hour call. It doesn't take a team from MENSA to figure out that this is virtually impossible with the kind of schedule we're working on. The spacing is not so much of a problem. The sound check is....but I'll get to that.
The reason "theatre" is in quotes is because we are playing the John Labatt centre. This is where people go to see hockey games and rock concerts. It's an area. An ice rink, not a theatre, in spite of the fact that they sell a "broadway series" out of this venue. Take one large hockey arena, add a portable, raised stage and a mountain of black masking draps. Section off one quarter of the arena at one of the round ends and place the stage on the ice that has been covered with a layer of insulation. The sectioned off 1/4 becomes the "theatre" and the remaining 3/4 of the arena becomes "backstage".
Given the "no sound check" rule, the first half of the show is a nightmare as mics explode with squeaks, pops, bangs, screeches and howls....that is, when they're working at all. The orchestra, as well as a significant portion of the audience, are freezing because, even though the ice has been covered, the cold still seeps up through the insulation into one's feet/legs. The temporary stage is hollow underneath so the sound of huge set pieces being rolled on and off is deafening. I start a rumour that Disney and Columbia Artists have begun negotiation for "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels On Ice", to do a tour of arenas around the country next year.
Still, the show goes well yet again. I am very surprised that when Christy sings the lyrics "Watch me blow the little fuckers heads right off" she gets a huge laugh. Not the kind of response one expects from uptight, middle class London.
We drink, knowing that we have to do it all over again for today's matinee before getting on a bus and traveling to a place called Gaylord, Michigan.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Dirty Rotten Hamilton - The Dirty Rotten Scoundrels National Tour
Ah yes......Hamilton. It's kind of a double edged sword to be here. We're happy to be back in Canada for a few days, but we're stuck here in polluted, piss-stained Hamilton until we leave for London on Saturday. Ah well, the theatre is nice and the shows are selling well.
Yesterday....
We wake in Roanoke VA and board our bus at 4:30 a.m. to begin the 3 hour drive to the airport in Charlotte NC. Most of us manage to sleep the whole way. It is THE MOST traveled day of they year (thanks to American Thanksgiving) and the airport is already swarming with people, but there is plenty of staff everywhere and things go very smoothly. Some of us are introduced to a new tool in America's on-going efforts to fool itself into a sense of security with it's security theatrics. It's a bit like a glaucoma test for your whole body. Little puffs or air are blown at you and any chemicals present on your body are lifted off and read by sensors as they float in the air. Only random people are subjected to this however so, ......security theatrics.
The flight is uneventful. We land in Toronto around 11:30 and clear customs without incident. We are notified at this point, however, that the crew bus and the trucks carrying the show have not crossed the border yet. We begin making plans to do a 'concert version' of the show. We check into the hotel in Hamilton and stumble onto the street among the crack-whores to try to find food. The hotel is right across the street from the theatre so we notice that the crew bus has arrived (1:30). This give us hope. Some food, some shopping, a cocktail, a nap, a shower and it's time to get to the theatre for the 6:30 call. We arrive to discover that the show is pretty much ready to go. The crew has performed a Herculean task by unloading and setting up two, fully loaded semi's in 4 hours. We are stunned.
This afternoon we, that is all of us who are understudying someone else, are called to do an understudy run of the show. Then another performance tonight. Then a well deserved day off tomorrow. Maybe we can join the unemployed and uninterested at the bingo palace down the street?
Also, as of this posting, I will start putting these entries on my blog so that anyone can read them.
www.actorinexile.blogspot.com
Yesterday....
We wake in Roanoke VA and board our bus at 4:30 a.m. to begin the 3 hour drive to the airport in Charlotte NC. Most of us manage to sleep the whole way. It is THE MOST traveled day of they year (thanks to American Thanksgiving) and the airport is already swarming with people, but there is plenty of staff everywhere and things go very smoothly. Some of us are introduced to a new tool in America's on-going efforts to fool itself into a sense of security with it's security theatrics. It's a bit like a glaucoma test for your whole body. Little puffs or air are blown at you and any chemicals present on your body are lifted off and read by sensors as they float in the air. Only random people are subjected to this however so, ......security theatrics.
The flight is uneventful. We land in Toronto around 11:30 and clear customs without incident. We are notified at this point, however, that the crew bus and the trucks carrying the show have not crossed the border yet. We begin making plans to do a 'concert version' of the show. We check into the hotel in Hamilton and stumble onto the street among the crack-whores to try to find food. The hotel is right across the street from the theatre so we notice that the crew bus has arrived (1:30). This give us hope. Some food, some shopping, a cocktail, a nap, a shower and it's time to get to the theatre for the 6:30 call. We arrive to discover that the show is pretty much ready to go. The crew has performed a Herculean task by unloading and setting up two, fully loaded semi's in 4 hours. We are stunned.
This afternoon we, that is all of us who are understudying someone else, are called to do an understudy run of the show. Then another performance tonight. Then a well deserved day off tomorrow. Maybe we can join the unemployed and uninterested at the bingo palace down the street?
Also, as of this posting, I will start putting these entries on my blog so that anyone can read them.
www.actorinexile.blogspot.com
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Drone Of Arc
I have been actively enjoying live theatre for more than twenty years. In that time I have walked out of 3 plays, the third being last night, Shaw's "St. Joan" at The Shaw Festival. I have always, always believed that even a bad play is better than what Hollywood thinks is a good movie, and can usually find some reason to stay in my seat. Why, I sat through four and a half hours of Shaw's "Heartbreak House", challenged, confused, bored at times, mystified at times, but the production fed me enough to keep me going. Last night's production fed me nothing and by intermission I was suffering severe malnutrition. Where have all the directors gone?
Monday, March 12, 2007
If an actor falls in the forest...
My posts have grown fewer and fewer over the past year or so. Symptomatic, I think, of my loss of interest in the business at large.
I recently made the decision to take a big step away from acting for an un-defined period of time. And these are the reasons why:
I recently made the decision to take a big step away from acting for an un-defined period of time. And these are the reasons why:
- I'm tired of the new acting style that everyone seems to be in love with, where there's a lot of raging around, 'dancing your pain' and chewing the scenery, but very little truth, subtlety or detail
I'm tired of seeing people who are far, far less talented than I get the roles because they are either in 'the circle' or because they have been tossed up the charts as the next big flavour of the month.
- I'm tired of charlatans and snake-oil salesmen getting hired as artistic directors. They seem very good at bamboozling a board and talking a good game but ultimately mis-lead and mis-represent the acting community and the public they're supposed to be serving.
- I'm tired of an apathetic public that would rather see 98% of their movie dollar go to America than see 99% of their live theatre dollar stay in Canada.
- I'm tired of the lack of interest from government.
- I'm tired of putting my dreams and plans on hold as I take the jobs that keep me on the road.
Let me assure you that, though all of this could be read with a heart-breaking symphony in the background and self-pitying vocal waver, that is not the case. I am simply tired of many aspects of it. As I've said to many friends, "I still really like my job, I'm just not finding that my job is liking me very much these days."
The point being, though I will leave Actor in Exile posted on the web, it's content may change as I begin to explore other areas of my life. After all....the journey IS the destination...right?
Friday, December 22, 2006
Hair Raising!
Considering that "Beauty & The Beast" is an enourmous show with a big cast, tons of props and costumes and numerous complex scene changes involving two different pieces of a moving stage, very little has actually gone wrong. Last night, however, was doozy.
At the top of Act II, Belle is running through the forest when the wolves set upon her and the Beast arrives to save her. During the wolf fight, one of the wolves accidentally pulled off the Beast's wig, leaving him with just the beast mask and the actor's very, very, short hair. There was nothing they could do but go on with the scene.
So, when Mrs. Potts, Lumiere and I enter, we were a bit stunned since we couldn't see what had occured. My first thought was, "Who's that guy with Belle?".
The Beast was a rock and was determined to continue to play the scene as though nothing was wrong until he had a moment to get offstage to have his hair replaced. Lumiere, on the other hand, could barely keep it together. Everytime I looked into his eyes, I could see that the slightest little thing might just send him into a giggle fit.
This torture dragged on for a good 10 minutes until the Beast, finally, managed to quickly run off stage during a scene and get re-haired. Then, however, I had the unenviable task of singing the lyrics, "Perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before", at which point I though Lumiere was going to explode. And Mrs. Potts had to repeat those lyrics ..... TWICE!!!
We couldn't wait to get off stage and break loose.
The magic of live theatre.
At the top of Act II, Belle is running through the forest when the wolves set upon her and the Beast arrives to save her. During the wolf fight, one of the wolves accidentally pulled off the Beast's wig, leaving him with just the beast mask and the actor's very, very, short hair. There was nothing they could do but go on with the scene.
So, when Mrs. Potts, Lumiere and I enter, we were a bit stunned since we couldn't see what had occured. My first thought was, "Who's that guy with Belle?".
The Beast was a rock and was determined to continue to play the scene as though nothing was wrong until he had a moment to get offstage to have his hair replaced. Lumiere, on the other hand, could barely keep it together. Everytime I looked into his eyes, I could see that the slightest little thing might just send him into a giggle fit.
This torture dragged on for a good 10 minutes until the Beast, finally, managed to quickly run off stage during a scene and get re-haired. Then, however, I had the unenviable task of singing the lyrics, "Perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before", at which point I though Lumiere was going to explode. And Mrs. Potts had to repeat those lyrics ..... TWICE!!!
We couldn't wait to get off stage and break loose.
The magic of live theatre.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Attack of the snow
OH MY GAWD! The city of London Ontario is under seige....by the elements. When I left for the theatre tonight, around 6 p.m., there was already some serious snowfall underway...traffic down to a crawl, very low visability, that sort of thing. But when I left the theatre a mere 4 hours later I had to clean one foot of snow off my car! A foot of snow in 4 hours.
There were these two ladies parked behind me, who were at the show I'm sure, who begged me for help. They were convinced that they would'nt get their car out onto what is current passing for road because the snow was up past the tires. So, I drove their car out for them and they said (in the best Slavic accent you can muster) "Oh, thanks you. What we would have done without you. God Bless You."
Now, a BIIIG glass of wine
There were these two ladies parked behind me, who were at the show I'm sure, who begged me for help. They were convinced that they would'nt get their car out onto what is current passing for road because the snow was up past the tires. So, I drove their car out for them and they said (in the best Slavic accent you can muster) "Oh, thanks you. What we would have done without you. God Bless You."
Now, a BIIIG glass of wine
Thursday, November 30, 2006
More notes to MP's
And my friend Jason sends a note to his MP on the same-sex marriage issue:
Dear Mr. Keddy:
As a new constituent in your riding, I wanted to write and express my support for you in voting against re-opening the debate on equal marriage legislation. I understand that Prime Minister Harper intends to introduce a motion this December that could revisit an issue that has already been decided in Parliament (Bill C-38, which I applaud you for voting for).
While I understand that MP’s have an obligation to represent their constituents in Parliament, I believe that reopening this issue would be remembered in years to come as a failure to protect the rights of *every* Canadian regardless of colour or creed. I wholly support your strength on this matter, and look forward to writing you again in December to congratulate you on sticking to your guns.
Perhaps you could remind those who oppose “same sex” marriage, that marriage, in and of itself, is the perfect way to *stop* sex. When you think about it, it’s actually a fantastic way to support the views of those who oppose the idea.
Regards,
Dear Mr. Keddy:
As a new constituent in your riding, I wanted to write and express my support for you in voting against re-opening the debate on equal marriage legislation. I understand that Prime Minister Harper intends to introduce a motion this December that could revisit an issue that has already been decided in Parliament (Bill C-38, which I applaud you for voting for).
While I understand that MP’s have an obligation to represent their constituents in Parliament, I believe that reopening this issue would be remembered in years to come as a failure to protect the rights of *every* Canadian regardless of colour or creed. I wholly support your strength on this matter, and look forward to writing you again in December to congratulate you on sticking to your guns.
Perhaps you could remind those who oppose “same sex” marriage, that marriage, in and of itself, is the perfect way to *stop* sex. When you think about it, it’s actually a fantastic way to support the views of those who oppose the idea.
Regards,
SPEAK NOW
With the Canadian government forced into a voting on the issue of same-sex marriage by Steven Harper and his immoral majority, I've been doing my best to spread the word to everyone I know that this time to speak is now. Here (reprinted with her permission) is what a friend of mine sent to her MP.
"Please reconsider your stance on this matter. I am a woman who has enjoyed a 37 year traditional marriage but also a woman who has spent 46 years in the theatrical industry. Consequently, I have a good understanding of the gay community and all they ask is to be treated as first class citizens of our country as set out by our constitution. The matrimonial home will not be destroyed by this. In fact it will show we truly are a country of tolerance and diversity. We tout this so proudly when it's convenient. But how can I honestly speak of our county with pride knowing so many of our fine and productive citizens are considered lesser human beings simply because they were born with untraditional emotions. I might have been born with a different colour skin. Would I have been denied this. Never and nor should I have been. Please don't rob us of our tolerance or our pride!"
Because the churches have been organizing letter-writing and phone campaigns (the new century version of saber rattling) we need to send a clear message to the government that this issue has already been decided and that we are well aware of the fact that it is a convenient tool for them to use while distracting us from larger issues that should be dealt with.
Please have your say....and soon.
Don't know who your MP is? Click HERE to find out.
The evil people are showing their true colors, are you showing yours?
"Please reconsider your stance on this matter. I am a woman who has enjoyed a 37 year traditional marriage but also a woman who has spent 46 years in the theatrical industry. Consequently, I have a good understanding of the gay community and all they ask is to be treated as first class citizens of our country as set out by our constitution. The matrimonial home will not be destroyed by this. In fact it will show we truly are a country of tolerance and diversity. We tout this so proudly when it's convenient. But how can I honestly speak of our county with pride knowing so many of our fine and productive citizens are considered lesser human beings simply because they were born with untraditional emotions. I might have been born with a different colour skin. Would I have been denied this. Never and nor should I have been. Please don't rob us of our tolerance or our pride!"
Because the churches have been organizing letter-writing and phone campaigns (the new century version of saber rattling) we need to send a clear message to the government that this issue has already been decided and that we are well aware of the fact that it is a convenient tool for them to use while distracting us from larger issues that should be dealt with.
Please have your say....and soon.
Don't know who your MP is? Click HERE to find out.
The evil people are showing their true colors, are you showing yours?
Sunday, November 26, 2006
DAY OFF
What a hellishly long and tiring week. There were 25 (or so) really tired, brainless people pulling a matinee out of their asses today. Lumiere blanked completely in "Be Our Guest", I could barely focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and most of the company was hanging on by a thread. Earlier this week in the green room, we were talking about toothbrushing (isn't backstage conversation stimulating) and the director admitted that she was so tired that she sat down while brushing her teeth and almost fell asleep with the toothbrush still in her mouth.
For now, I have a blissfull 48 hours (well, almost) where I do not have to channel my inner clock. I will rest and do my best to begin the therapy for my tortured neck muscles. I should buy stock in Deep Cold and Motrin.
For now, I have a blissfull 48 hours (well, almost) where I do not have to channel my inner clock. I will rest and do my best to begin the therapy for my tortured neck muscles. I should buy stock in Deep Cold and Motrin.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
THE DUCK
OH MY GOD. I am so out of practice with telling theatre stories that I totally forgot to make an entry about THE DUCK.
In the opening number, "Belle", Gaston shoots a duck out of the sky and Le Fou comes racing into the market place yelling, "I got it. I got it." He then does a skid/dive across the stage and the duck falls from the sky, landing several feet away from him. The rest of the company responds with an loud, long, "Eeew", and leaves the stage.
The duck that they've created for our production probably only weighs a few pounds, but at the height its falling from it sounds like 70 pounds when it hits the stage.
During a tech run, something in the timing didn't quite work and the duck fell directly onto Le Fou's back. We couldn't have done it more perfectly if we'd tried. The company, horrified, made an audible gasp, then, seeing that the actor playing Le Fou wasn't dead, recovered enough to leave the stage making something like the "Eeew" sound like they normally do.
In the opening number, "Belle", Gaston shoots a duck out of the sky and Le Fou comes racing into the market place yelling, "I got it. I got it." He then does a skid/dive across the stage and the duck falls from the sky, landing several feet away from him. The rest of the company responds with an loud, long, "Eeew", and leaves the stage.
The duck that they've created for our production probably only weighs a few pounds, but at the height its falling from it sounds like 70 pounds when it hits the stage.
During a tech run, something in the timing didn't quite work and the duck fell directly onto Le Fou's back. We couldn't have done it more perfectly if we'd tried. The company, horrified, made an audible gasp, then, seeing that the actor playing Le Fou wasn't dead, recovered enough to leave the stage making something like the "Eeew" sound like they normally do.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Beauty & The Beast Tech Week
There were times during our technical rehearsals this week when all of us felt that we might never get to the end of the show. But, we made it, and even managed to make it through an invited dress rehearsal without having to stop.
This is not to say that it's perfect by any means. Most of the work to still be done involves costumes. Many pieces aren't finished yet or need to be revamped to make them more usable.
I'm sorry to say that my headpiece is causing me some severe neck pain and I think I'm going to have to ask that some changes be made. They've worked very hard and created something really great, but I can't live like this for 6 weeks.
Pictures soon.
This is not to say that it's perfect by any means. Most of the work to still be done involves costumes. Many pieces aren't finished yet or need to be revamped to make them more usable.
I'm sorry to say that my headpiece is causing me some severe neck pain and I think I'm going to have to ask that some changes be made. They've worked very hard and created something really great, but I can't live like this for 6 weeks.
Pictures soon.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Closing in on opening
End of the second week of rehearsal and, boy oh boy, are we ready to get on the stage. The show really has a heart and soul of it's own at this point. And, my usual rehearsal-exhaustion is kicking in , right on time. Could barely focus for more than 5 mintues at a time today....and I wasn't the only one.
Stopped in to the theatre on my way out of the building to see how the set was looking. Even in it's half-completed state IT'S HUGE !!!!! My God !!! Can't wait to start playing on it.
Noticed today that the kid that's playing our teacup spends an awful lot of time cuddling with all the boys in the cast (he's 12) and virtually no time with the girls. Hmmmmm....wondering if the writing is on the wall. He spent the better part of this afternoon's rehearsal either using Jason's back for a pillow or sitting on my lap. And yet...while I watch his actions with a knowing curiosity, I love the fact that he's still young enough to seek and demand affection from whomever he likes. What a delightful age, to not be too 'grown up' to hold hands, to approach basic, comforting human contact with pure innocence.
Stopped in to the theatre on my way out of the building to see how the set was looking. Even in it's half-completed state IT'S HUGE !!!!! My God !!! Can't wait to start playing on it.
Noticed today that the kid that's playing our teacup spends an awful lot of time cuddling with all the boys in the cast (he's 12) and virtually no time with the girls. Hmmmmm....wondering if the writing is on the wall. He spent the better part of this afternoon's rehearsal either using Jason's back for a pillow or sitting on my lap. And yet...while I watch his actions with a knowing curiosity, I love the fact that he's still young enough to seek and demand affection from whomever he likes. What a delightful age, to not be too 'grown up' to hold hands, to approach basic, comforting human contact with pure innocence.
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