Dirty Rotten London

We arrive in London in plenty of time to do a little life administration. I make use of the free time to find a haircut and visit the market.

On the bus, there has been much discussion as to whether our show is at 7:30 or 8:00. This uncertainty apparently arises from the fact that we still don't have a signed contract from this venue. While I can understand how this might account for the lack of information, I wonder aloud if anyone has thought of contacting the box office by phone or on line. I'm certain that the people who are purchasing tickets will have a time printed on them. This idea is met with a why-don't-you-go-be-a-smarty-pants-somewhere-else glare.

As it turns out, the showtime is 8:00, so we arrive at the "theatre" with time enough to have a meeting about the newest wrinkle in our lives. Canadian Actors' Equity, in it's infinite wisdom, has decided that, under the terms of The Canadian Theatre Agreement, it is illegal for us to do a spacing rehearsal and/or sound check before our half-hour call. They consider this a proper rehearsal which can only take place provided that there is a minimum of 90 minutes break before the half-hour call. It doesn't take a team from MENSA to figure out that this is virtually impossible with the kind of schedule we're working on. The spacing is not so much of a problem. The sound check is....but I'll get to that.

The reason "theatre" is in quotes is because we are playing the John Labatt centre. This is where people go to see hockey games and rock concerts. It's an area. An ice rink, not a theatre, in spite of the fact that they sell a "broadway series" out of this venue. Take one large hockey arena, add a portable, raised stage and a mountain of black masking draps. Section off one quarter of the arena at one of the round ends and place the stage on the ice that has been covered with a layer of insulation. The sectioned off 1/4 becomes the "theatre" and the remaining 3/4 of the arena becomes "backstage".

Given the "no sound check" rule, the first half of the show is a nightmare as mics explode with squeaks, pops, bangs, screeches and howls....that is, when they're working at all. The orchestra, as well as a significant portion of the audience, are freezing because, even though the ice has been covered, the cold still seeps up through the insulation into one's feet/legs. The temporary stage is hollow underneath so the sound of huge set pieces being rolled on and off is deafening. I start a rumour that Disney and Columbia Artists have begun negotiation for "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels On Ice", to do a tour of arenas around the country next year.

Still, the show goes well yet again. I am very surprised that when Christy sings the lyrics "Watch me blow the little fuckers heads right off" she gets a huge laugh. Not the kind of response one expects from uptight, middle class London.

We drink, knowing that we have to do it all over again for today's matinee before getting on a bus and traveling to a place called Gaylord, Michigan.

Dirty Rotten Hamilton - The Dirty Rotten Scoundrels National Tour

Ah yes......Hamilton. It's kind of a double edged sword to be here. We're happy to be back in Canada for a few days, but we're stuck here in polluted, piss-stained Hamilton until we leave for London on Saturday. Ah well, the theatre is nice and the shows are selling well.

Yesterday....
We wake in Roanoke VA and board our bus at 4:30 a.m. to begin the 3 hour drive to the airport in Charlotte NC. Most of us manage to sleep the whole way. It is THE MOST traveled day of they year (thanks to American Thanksgiving) and the airport is already swarming with people, but there is plenty of staff everywhere and things go very smoothly. Some of us are introduced to a new tool in America's on-going efforts to fool itself into a sense of security with it's security theatrics. It's a bit like a glaucoma test for your whole body. Little puffs or air are blown at you and any chemicals present on your body are lifted off and read by sensors as they float in the air. Only random people are subjected to this however so, ......security theatrics.

The flight is uneventful. We land in Toronto around 11:30 and clear customs without incident. We are notified at this point, however, that the crew bus and the trucks carrying the show have not crossed the border yet. We begin making plans to do a 'concert version' of the show. We check into the hotel in Hamilton and stumble onto the street among the crack-whores to try to find food. The hotel is right across the street from the theatre so we notice that the crew bus has arrived (1:30). This give us hope. Some food, some shopping, a cocktail, a nap, a shower and it's time to get to the theatre for the 6:30 call. We arrive to discover that the show is pretty much ready to go. The crew has performed a Herculean task by unloading and setting up two, fully loaded semi's in 4 hours. We are stunned.

This afternoon we, that is all of us who are understudying someone else, are called to do an understudy run of the show. Then another performance tonight. Then a well deserved day off tomorrow. Maybe we can join the unemployed and uninterested at the bingo palace down the street?

Also, as of this posting, I will start putting these entries on my blog so that anyone can read them.
www.actorinexile.blogspot.com

Drone Of Arc

I have been actively enjoying live theatre for more than twenty years. In that time I have walked out of 3 plays, the third being last night, Shaw's "St. Joan" at The Shaw Festival. I have always, always believed that even a bad play is better than what Hollywood thinks is a good movie, and can usually find some reason to stay in my seat. Why, I sat through four and a half hours of Shaw's "Heartbreak House", challenged, confused, bored at times, mystified at times, but the production fed me enough to keep me going. Last night's production fed me nothing and by intermission I was suffering severe malnutrition. Where have all the directors gone?

If an actor falls in the forest...

My posts have grown fewer and fewer over the past year or so. Symptomatic, I think, of my loss of interest in the business at large.

I recently made the decision to take a big step away from acting for an un-defined period of time. And these are the reasons why:

• I'm tired of the new acting style that everyone seems to be in love with, where there's a lot of raging around, 'dancing your pain' and chewing the scenery, but very little truth, subtlety or detail

I'm tired of seeing people who are far, far less talented than I get the roles because they are either in 'the circle' or because they have been tossed up the charts as the next big flavour of the month.

• I'm tired of charlatans and snake-oil salesmen getting hired as artistic directors. They seem very good at bamboozling a board and talking a good game but ultimately mis-lead and mis-represent the acting community and the public they're supposed to be serving.
• I'm tired of an apathetic public that would rather see 98% of their movie dollar go to America than see 99% of their live theatre dollar stay in Canada.
• I'm tired of the lack of interest from government.
• I'm tired of putting my dreams and plans on hold as I take the jobs that keep me on the road.

Let me assure you that, though all of this could be read with a heart-breaking symphony in the background and self-pitying vocal waver, that is not the case. I am simply tired of many aspects of it. As I've said to many friends, "I still really like my job, I'm just not finding that my job is liking me very much these days."

The point being, though I will leave Actor in Exile posted on the web, it's content may change as I begin to explore other areas of my life. After all....the journey IS the destination...right?

Hair Raising!

Considering that "Beauty & The Beast" is an enourmous show with a big cast, tons of props and costumes and numerous complex scene changes involving two different pieces of a moving stage, very little has actually gone wrong. Last night, however, was doozy.

At the top of Act II, Belle is running through the forest when the wolves set upon her and the Beast arrives to save her. During the wolf fight, one of the wolves accidentally pulled off the Beast's wig, leaving him with just the beast mask and the actor's very, very, short hair. There was nothing they could do but go on with the scene.

So, when Mrs. Potts, Lumiere and I enter, we were a bit stunned since we couldn't see what had occured. My first thought was, "Who's that guy with Belle?".

The Beast was a rock and was determined to continue to play the scene as though nothing was wrong until he had a moment to get offstage to have his hair replaced. Lumiere, on the other hand, could barely keep it together. Everytime I looked into his eyes, I could see that the slightest little thing might just send him into a giggle fit.

This torture dragged on for a good 10 minutes until the Beast, finally, managed to quickly run off stage during a scene and get re-haired. Then, however, I had the unenviable task of singing the lyrics, "Perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before", at which point I though Lumiere was going to explode. And Mrs. Potts had to repeat those lyrics ..... TWICE!!!

We couldn't wait to get off stage and break loose.

The magic of live theatre.

Attack of the snow

OH MY GAWD! The city of London Ontario is under seige....by the elements. When I left for the theatre tonight, around 6 p.m., there was already some serious snowfall underway...traffic down to a crawl, very low visability, that sort of thing. But when I left the theatre a mere 4 hours later I had to clean one foot of snow off my car! A foot of snow in 4 hours.

There were these two ladies parked behind me, who were at the show I'm sure, who begged me for help. They were convinced that they would'nt get their car out onto what is current passing for road because the snow was up past the tires. So, I drove their car out for them and they said (in the best Slavic accent you can muster) "Oh, thanks you. What we would have done without you. God Bless You."

Now, a BIIIG glass of wine

More notes to MP's

And my friend Jason sends a note to his MP on the same-sex marriage issue:

Dear Mr. Keddy:

As a new constituent in your riding, I wanted to write and express my support for you in voting against re-opening the debate on equal marriage legislation. I understand that Prime Minister Harper intends to introduce a motion this December that could revisit an issue that has already been decided in Parliament (Bill C-38, which I applaud you for voting for).

While I understand that MP’s have an obligation to represent their constituents in Parliament, I believe that reopening this issue would be remembered in years to come as a failure to protect the rights of *every* Canadian regardless of colour or creed. I wholly support your strength on this matter, and look forward to writing you again in December to congratulate you on sticking to your guns.

Perhaps you could remind those who oppose “same sex” marriage, that marriage, in and of itself, is the perfect way to *stop* sex. When you think about it, it’s actually a fantastic way to support the views of those who oppose the idea.

Regards,

SPEAK NOW

With the Canadian government forced into a voting on the issue of same-sex marriage by Steven Harper and his immoral majority, I've been doing my best to spread the word to everyone I know that this time to speak is now. Here (reprinted with her permission) is what a friend of mine sent to her MP.

"Please reconsider your stance on this matter. I am a woman who has enjoyed a 37 year traditional marriage but also a woman who has spent 46 years in the theatrical industry. Consequently, I have a good understanding of the gay community and all they ask is to be treated as first class citizens of our country as set out by our constitution. The matrimonial home will not be destroyed by this. In fact it will show we truly are a country of tolerance and diversity. We tout this so proudly when it's convenient. But how can I honestly speak of our county with pride knowing so many of our fine and productive citizens are considered lesser human beings simply because they were born with untraditional emotions. I might have been born with a different colour skin. Would I have been denied this. Never and nor should I have been. Please don't rob us of our tolerance or our pride!"

Because the churches have been organizing letter-writing and phone campaigns (the new century version of saber rattling) we need to send a clear message to the government that this issue has already been decided and that we are well aware of the fact that it is a convenient tool for them to use while distracting us from larger issues that should be dealt with.

Please have your say....and soon.

Don't know who your MP is? Click HERE to find out.

The evil people are showing their true colors, are you showing yours?

DAY OFF

What a hellishly long and tiring week. There were 25 (or so) really tired, brainless people pulling a matinee out of their asses today. Lumiere blanked completely in "Be Our Guest", I could barely focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and most of the company was hanging on by a thread. Earlier this week in the green room, we were talking about toothbrushing (isn't backstage conversation stimulating) and the director admitted that she was so tired that she sat down while brushing her teeth and almost fell asleep with the toothbrush still in her mouth.
For now, I have a blissfull 48 hours (well, almost) where I do not have to channel my inner clock. I will rest and do my best to begin the therapy for my tortured neck muscles. I should buy stock in Deep Cold and Motrin.

THE DUCK

OH MY GOD. I am so out of practice with telling theatre stories that I totally forgot to make an entry about THE DUCK.
In the opening number, "Belle", Gaston shoots a duck out of the sky and Le Fou comes racing into the market place yelling, "I got it. I got it." He then does a skid/dive across the stage and the duck falls from the sky, landing several feet away from him. The rest of the company responds with an loud, long, "Eeew", and leaves the stage.
The duck that they've created for our production probably only weighs a few pounds, but at the height its falling from it sounds like 70 pounds when it hits the stage.
During a tech run, something in the timing didn't quite work and the duck fell directly onto Le Fou's back. We couldn't have done it more perfectly if we'd tried. The company, horrified, made an audible gasp, then, seeing that the actor playing Le Fou wasn't dead, recovered enough to leave the stage making something like the "Eeew" sound like they normally do.

Beauty & The Beast Tech Week

There were times during our technical rehearsals this week when all of us felt that we might never get to the end of the show. But, we made it, and even managed to make it through an invited dress rehearsal without having to stop.

This is not to say that it's perfect by any means. Most of the work to still be done involves costumes. Many pieces aren't finished yet or need to be revamped to make them more usable.

I'm sorry to say that my headpiece is causing me some severe neck pain and I think I'm going to have to ask that some changes be made. They've worked very hard and created something really great, but I can't live like this for 6 weeks.

Pictures soon.

Closing in on opening

End of the second week of rehearsal and, boy oh boy, are we ready to get on the stage. The show really has a heart and soul of it's own at this point. And, my usual rehearsal-exhaustion is kicking in , right on time. Could barely focus for more than 5 mintues at a time today....and I wasn't the only one.

Stopped in to the theatre on my way out of the building to see how the set was looking. Even in it's half-completed state IT'S HUGE !!!!! My God !!! Can't wait to start playing on it.

Noticed today that the kid that's playing our teacup spends an awful lot of time cuddling with all the boys in the cast (he's 12) and virtually no time with the girls. Hmmmmm....wondering if the writing is on the wall. He spent the better part of this afternoon's rehearsal either using Jason's back for a pillow or sitting on my lap. And yet...while I watch his actions with a knowing curiosity, I love the fact that he's still young enough to seek and demand affection from whomever he likes. What a delightful age, to not be too 'grown up' to hold hands, to approach basic, comforting human contact with pure innocence.

Visitors for A Run THru

Did another run-thru of the show today after working lots of little details all week. The cast of the current show that's playing, "Mums the Word", came to watch. They laughed and cried in all the appropriate places and said that, even though they'd all seen the show before, they didn't realize how much of a love story it was. They also said that our production was already 10 times better (in the rehearsal hall) than the production they'd seen in Vancouver....at the end of it's run !!!

Seems we're heading in the right direction, no?

BOOTY & THE BEEF

We've spent the last two days doing lots of detail work, tearing the scenes apart to see what we can discover about them. Exhausting, but sooo informative. And, we've spent much of the time laughing. Everyone in this company is a master of the one-liner or the off-handed remark.

Babette (the feather duster) embarrassed the hell out of Lumiere today. She came running in to the scene, calling his name like she is supposed to, but she added a little butt-wiggle. Lumiere was so focused on her perfect, tiny, little dancer's ass bouncing up and down that he forgot his next line.

I had a fitting this morning since wardrobe had reached stage where most of my costume and clockworks are tacked together. The head gear is going to take some getting used to since I can't move my head, and because I have clock-arm pointers on my hands, I don't really have any dexterity either. The whole thing looks great though, and the wizards in the wardrobe department are making much of it up as they go along. I'll try to post some photos.

BOOTY & THE BEEF

End of the 2nd week of rehearsals for "Booty & The Beef" and things are moving along as they should. I begin to fret when we launch into long discussions that we don't need to have simply because when we're actually on the set, everything will make sense. i.e...."Yes, I know I'm walking through a wall. When it IS a wall, instead of a tape line on the floor, I won't walk through it." (Thank you Liz Gilroy). Still, the show already has a sense of purpose behind it even if the details are still quite ragged. It's an odd process since 1/3rd of us have done the show together before, and only last year. So the "new" people seem left to the task of 'catching up', when really they all deserve a medal for absorbing as much as they have in 2 weeks. (It's a HUGE show, and everyone seems to continually forget that.)

Since I didn't get home last weekend because I was moving, I'm enjoying some couch time along with Michael (it's our 6 year anniversary), our adorable little cat, tuxedo, and our foster cat, Big-Fat-Alice. A mere 40 or so hours at home. Funny how it becomes a luxury so quickly, isn't it?

End of the first week of rehearsals in London and I spent the day off moving. There was a shortage of housing and I had to wait for "The Graduate" to close so that I could move into the place where I will now live until Dec. 30. My new home is a marked improvement from my last one where there was no stove/oven, no bed (only a futon which doubled as the couch) and there wasn't really a bathroom to speak of, only a sink, toilet and shower installed in the laundry room. So, when you sit on the toilet, you not only have you knees under the sink, you are also sitting next to the furnace. This is what $100.00 a week gets you. My new place has an actual bed in it's own room, an actual bathroom with a spacious shower and a lovely kitchen that I share with the homeowner. And....there is a GoodLife gym 3 blocks away and an Irish pub with free wireless internet about 5 blocks away (this is a minor miracle since London seems completely uninterested in wireless internet connections in it's public spaces).

B & B RIDES AGAIN

Rehearsals have started for The Grand's production of "Beauty & The Beast" in London. The show is going to look amazing. The set and costume designers (Judith Bowden and John Dinning) have allowed themselves to be inspired by the great illustrators Maxfield Parrish and Edmond Dulac. Everything is very, very rich, colorful, detailed, lush , textured and full of fairy-tale touches.

DISNEY STRIKES AGAIN

I leave for London tomorrow to start rehearsals for "Beauty & The Beast" at The Grand on Tuesday. Once again into the fray of Disney-fied happiness. Though I am hoping that because this theatre company understands the value of rehearsal time and takes it's art and it's performers seriously, there may actually be a more meaningful show the ends up being unearthed this time. Oh, and did I mention a director that knows how to direct?

Bodyworlds

Went to see the BODYWORLDS exhibit at the Vancouver Science Centre today. I admit that I did have some brief, minor moments of squeemishness when I remembered that these were actual bodies that I was looking at. Overall, however, what I took away from the exhibit was two things: One, that we are really very small creatures when you look at us in a purely physical sense, and fairly fragile too. And two, without an energizing force in the body, animating it, giving it reason and context in it's environment, it is only a body, a lump of protein and water that might just as easily be a bowl of pudding. So......what IS that energizing force? When will they be able to plastinate a soul?

Full Circle

I'm feeling a sort of 'full-circle-ness' from being in Vancouver. Not two blocks from where I'm staying is the old Tivoli theatre (it's coffee place now, like every piece of prime real estate in Vancouver) but it's also the place where I saw "The Rocky Horror Show" when it first came out in the late 70's when I was living here. ....and now I've played the lead on stage. Also, I had lunch today with an old friend with whom I did a production of "Bent" years ago in Calgary. (I mean...many years ago...probably 1986 or 87). So here's the question I ponder.....if you are re-visiting things from so long ago, does this mean you have come full circle and its time to move on, or is it time to learn the things you didn't learn the first time around?